One of the things I like about living by myself is watching old movies. I have a Netflix two movies per month membership and so far I have watched "Sergent York", "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington", "The Ghost and Mrs. Murier", "To Kill a Mockingbird", and "Mrs. Miniver",to name a few, and tonight, I watched Tracy and Hepburn in "Adams Rib". I truly love these old movies. One of the things I enjoy is seeing many of the same people in each of these different movies. I know this was a time when the actors and actresses had contracts with specific studios, so they were in multiple movies, but it is fun to spot them in bit parts in one, and then major parts in another. It's like "Where is Waldo", but on screen.
I love the costumes, the dresses the women wore were so fabulous, and the nightgowns and robes were flowingly beautiful. Hats, everyone wore hats. The men and the women all wore hats. Mostly, I think the women's hats were ridiculous, feathers and birds and netting over their face. Apparently I am not a hat fan, but I appreciate that they were a part of the movie and the ambiance of that movie. Oh, and the women, WOW, did many of them have these knock out figures. Katharine Hepburn, in "Adams Rib", what a beauty she was in her costume dresses. I watched another old one with her in it, I can't recall the name, it had Cary Grant, anyway, she wore this white swim robe, and she looked like a Greek Goddess in it.....oh, and I love the fact that obscene language has yet to be introduced to the film industry......my "hats off" to old movies!
Adams Rib
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Posted by Jami at 10:37 PM 3 comments
Confessions of a Mediocre Mother
Hmmmmmmmm...where to begin.
Ok, so the whole Catherine coming home. Let me state a few facts up front, and then ramble from there. It was a great surprise. I love her very much. I am always proud of her. I do like having her home. That being said......
Confessions :
Within the first 7 days Of her being home, I asked her twice when her return airfare was for, I threatened to beat her silly, and told her I considered killing her ( by pinching her little head off). Most of these statements were said with a smile, I will not declare which ones were and which weren't.
I think I have stated previously in my blog how much I do enjoy living by myself. I like the peace and quiet, I like the lack of conflict, I like only having to pick up after myself.
Things I remembered after Catherine came back home.
I do not like her leaving her dirty dishes all over the living room. I do not like her setting her dirty dishes on the EDGE of the kitchen sink. Not IN the sink, not BESIDE the sink, but she sets them, actually, LINES them up along the EDGE of the sink. I do not like being told that she will get something done, and then, it does not happen.
In her defense, these things do not happen constantly. She has picked up her bathroom, the living room, the kitchen, mowed the lawn (twice), picked up some fencing materials and demoed them so they would fit in the trash can, painted part of an apartment, and spent a day running my errands with me (which, she hates with a passion).
Catherine came into my room, within 6 days of being home, proclaiming that being home "sucked". There was nothing to do, no where to go, blah, blah, blah..........So, I said, "suck it up". I told her "this is the same place you left", and that "she could chose to make the most of time here", and that it will only "suck" if she allows it to. I told her lots of things in my life have "sucked". Getting a divorce, her going away to college so far away, seeing my granddaughter move to Austin, and Rob and Cindy moving to San Marcus. (just to name a few).......but, that I had chosen to make the best of all of those situations, and made them be "ok" for me, since there was nothing else I could do about it, and that she should and could do likewise if she chose to.
So here is my point. As I am expressing myself to some friends, I start to notice the "shocked" or "mortified" looks on their faces. At some point, the realization slaps me in the face, "Jami, maybe you are not the loving, caring, nurturing mom you always thought of yourself as". I confess, I think, secretly, I have taken a considerable amount of credit for my girls being successful in their lives. For the most part, I was a single mom for Catherine (she was 6 when her dad and I split), and Jessica was 12, and Jennifer was 16. They are now almost 19, 25, and 28, respectfully. Now, I am thinking that maybe, just maybe, they are successful IN SPITE of me, not BECAUSE of me!
So, I had a discussion with Catherine about this "insight" of mine. And apparently, I am NOT a nurturing mom. Apparently, I don't give off the warm fuzzy's that I think I do. Now I ask, "How can that be?!" How can one reach the ripe old age of 49 and not know they type of parent she is.
Let me be clear here. I do not think I am a BAD mother. I still believe I am a good mom, the best mom I can be..........that is not my point. I am not bashing myself here, I am just acknowledging outwardly and openly that I am still learning about myself.
So, now the question becomes. Can I change, do I want to change, and would change do me any good at this point? Let's face it. The girls are grown and raised. I have pretty much done all of the damage, or good I can do.
I would say that I will make every effort to be a different type of grandmother than I have been as a mom, but quite honestly, that is already the case. I was a pretty strict mom, and I am not a very strict grandmother, just for starters.
So, I think I will take my own advise and just "suck it up". I will accept who and what I have been. I will adhere to Cindy's philosophy of "asking forgiveness and not permission". I love God, my kids, my parents, my grandbaby(s), my friends, and my life.
I hope you all feel the same about yours.
Posted by Jami at 10:50 AM 3 comments
Biggest Surprise of My Life
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Last night, at about 10 pm, my little dog, Meg, barks, like someone is at the front door. I was in my room, and didn't hear anything, but she is pretty good and keeping me informed. I went and looked through the peep hole, and Chelsea Arkadie is at my front door. Chelsea has been Catherine's best friend for years now. She lives in Waller, and goes to college at Prairie View. When I see her, I always fuss at her for not coming by to see me. So, I am very surprised and excited to see her standing at my front door.
We come in, sit on the couch and start visiting. I am sitting with my back to the kitchen area, and I feel something "nuzzle" my shoulder. "Nuzzle, nuzzle", I think it is Meg, wanting attention. I turn around to tell her to knock it off, and it's not a nuzzle at ALL..........it is CATHERINE !
Catherine who has told me for MONTHS that she was staying for graduation at Brown, which is not until the 25th. Catherine who told me she and some friends were going to rent a U-haul and drive home from Rhode Island. Catherine, who, every time I questioned her on how she was getting home, she told me "don't worry about it, I am not worried, you shouldn't worry". Catherine, who I did not expect to see until maybe June 1st, is standing in my house. Home!
Apparently, everyone knew but me.........and everyone has known for months, and kept if from me. To surprise me. Man, was I surprised. In fact, I don't know what word is bigger than surprise......ubersurprised?
I cried, I hit her a few times (you know the love pat type of smacks)......and just stared at her...........I even asked her to hit me, so I would know it was real! She didn't want to hit me, but Chelsea took the invitation to heart, and frogged my arm!
Catherine is HOME.......and I am HAPPY...........
Posted by Jami at 8:16 AM 2 comments
Catherine
Monday, May 12, 2008
Catherine posted several blogs last night/today. One of the blogs, she talks about how there is a photo contest for students to enter pictures they have taken at Brown this school year. I have only selected a few pictures to put here, maybe someone reads my blog and they don't read Catherine's. I don't mean to plagiarize (I assume you can do that with photos as well as writings). I just was so blown away with the extreme beauty. I can only imagine what it is like to live there and see these sights daily.
This first picture, I asked Catherine about, and yes, it is like that for several weeks
This next one is also a winter scene, but the buildings are beautiful, the sky is amazing and it is important to show this one before the next one.
And now I might be mistaken, but I believe these are the same buildings, the same court yard, but obviously a different season.
So her having posted those photo entries, and seeing the beauty, and knowing of the life changing experiences she is having, she also admits to being a little homesick. Family, friends, and Texas. She included in her blog a video from the Dixie Chicks..."Wide Open Spaces". I admit to liking the DC's.......not their politics, but their music. And I admit, when I have heard this song on the radio, I could have pretended to sing along, at least with the chorus..........but, I never really listened to the first part. When I did, I thought, "how Catherine" to put a song that so perfectly fit........so, for you readers, I am going to put the first few lines...........to read..........to understand, as I did, just a little bit of what my youngest daughter must have been and is experiencing in her life this past year.
Who doesn't know what I'm talking about.
Who's never left home, who's never struck out.
To find a dream, and a life of their own,
a place in the clouds, a foundation of stone.
Many precede and many will follow.
A young girls dreams no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out west (east)
But what it holds for her, she hasn't yet guessed.
She needs, Wide Open spaces
room to make big mistakes,
She needs, new faces,
she knows the highest stakes.
She traveled this road as a child.
wide eyed and grinning she never tired.
But now she won't be coming back with the rest,
If these are life's lessons, she'll take this test.......
Catherine took a leap of faith, she left to attend a college, thousands of miles away, not just up the road. She left saying "I can do it", "I want to do it", and I know in my heart, she will do it. For I too have faith, she just needs "Wide Open Spaces".
Oh how I miss her, look forward to her time home this summer.
Posted by Jami at 5:23 PM 2 comments
More on Mia
Sunday, May 11, 2008
I know I have not posted pictures lately and Catherine has been VERY unhappy about that. I really do have slow internet service, and it takes a long time to upload pictures, especially videos. But here is a clip of Mia being silly, eating Cheeto's in the back of her car. Jennifer and Mia were waiting for me. I had gone inside to order pizza, and we had spent the last hour and the children's museum in Austin.
And here is one of her playing in the sprinkler at her new home in Austin.
And my first attempt at this slide show.
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Slide show of Mia |
Posted by Jami at 5:41 PM 0 comments
Something old and something New.......seeing something made me Blue
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
So I made my first trip to Austin to see Mia, Jennifer and Rex. It was an unexpected trip, Jennifer was having some issues of concern in her new pregnancy, and we all insisted that she get it checked out. Thank goodness it showed to be nothing, in fact, the baby is fine, Jennifer, Rex and Mia saw the baby in an ultra sound, saw the heart beat and according to Jennifer, the little nubs of arms and legs. Mia said the whole thing was "nasty". I suppose looking at pictures in black and white of your mom's guts could be construed as "nasty" even if you are not two! I got to see the new house, which is really nice, and spend time with lively lovely Mia.
That is my "Something New".....part.
Now for the something old.
Jennifer, Mia and I went to eat at Magnolia Cafe today. The food is always good, but I think I always get the same thing! I just know everyone we passed while getting seated had something wonderfully delicious sitting on their plate! Corey Ann (my cousin's daughter) could sure take some great pictures of the food. I have a link to her blog on my blog, and if you want to see some delicious pictures of food, check out her blog. I think she should be a food photographer............
Well, I digress...........back to the old, and made me blue.
As we were being seated, there was a man, I would say 50's maybe 60, in a nice business suit. He was sharing the table with, what Jennifer and I assumed to be his elderly mom. The mom was wearing a little pill box hat, and a light brown fur coat. As we walked up, he was standing wiping the mouth of a teddy bear sitting in the highchair at their table. Yes, I said a teddy bear. Wearing clothes, sitting in a high chair, with a messy mouth. It actually looked like a Paddington Bear. Jennifer and I assume that the elderly "mom" had fed the bear. We both just wanted to cry. Our minds raced with the story that must belong with that family. There was sadness and love all wrapped up in the table next to us. Like Jennifer said, the man, obviously a business man, who had to, in a simple way, humble himself, stop making crucial multi-million dollar deals for a while, by taking his mom out for brunch, and indulge her age by asking for a high chair for a stuffed teddy bear, and then wipe the mouth of that bear. It was such a poignant moment, it almost felt like we were seeing a very private moment between a son and his mom. It was beautiful and sad.
Not being one to stay focused on the beauty of the moment, I told Jennifer that I hoped someday, my girls would have to take me and my teddy bear out! It would serve them all right! ( I was just kidding!) I must admit that I now have a new saying, when I am having one of those "senior" moments, I will now say, "I am just one step away from a teddy bear". I do not say that in mockery of what we saw, but it just was so precious that I think it makes growing older seem a little more positive.
Maybe it touched me so because today is my birthday. I am 49. I am waiting for my teddy.........
Posted by Jami at 9:44 PM 2 comments